Goodbye, Ghana...

Last day at the orphanage? Bittersweet. I couldn't work up the courage to tell all the orphans that I was leaving, but I told the 19 year old one that I have bonded with (the one that told me the hour-long story about how she ended up there). She looked disgruntled and said they would all miss me, and that I needed to stay longer. She insisted she would be seeing me on Monday. Today the medical volunteers came and dealt with the open sores and ringworm, which was nice because I needed a dose of Catherine. She's from Alabama, a nurse, and one of those people who I can immediately tell cares about people (ie. instant in with Julia, no matter your temprament). It's nice to have someone I can always be honest with, and not have to continually focus on the positive and always watch what I'm saying. We instantly bonded when we went to Green Turtle.

Speaking of Green Turtle, that's how I've lazily decided to spend my last week of travel. We're going in a group of 9 tomorrow morning, and going home monday. I'll spend monday night with my host family and then leave for accra sometime on tuesday. Then my flight is wednesday morning! To be honest, I think I'm ready to go home. I feel very emotionally drained and I'm not sure how much I really have left to give to the country of Ghana. I think you mentally prepare yourself for your stay, no matter how long it is, and eek out your energy bit by bit until by the end you have nothing left. I feel like that, but not in a depressing way. Like I've given everything I have - in a satisfying way. It will be a relief to come home and feed off of the energy that you guys provide...parasite Julia here we come! I might need a couple hours to like chill out, get used to the reverse culture shock, look at my pictures, etc...but after that I will probably be up for a reunion which will hopefully involve every food group that is not simple carbs.

I haven't received any mail yet, which makes me sad as many of you said you wrote so I hope things won't arrive like a day after I leave or something. I asked my coordinator to tell me if I get mail up until next tuesday, so I'll remind him of that and hopefully your thoughtful letters will find a home. :[ Stupid ghana mail. Also sorry about the lack of postcards. I think this is the first vacation in like 5 years that I haven't sent any postcards out, but there are literally none to buy. I hope keeping this blog up was an okay substitute, even though sometimes I found it tiring to update and I think you guys are getting bored of reading it. Good thing I'll be going home soon! There are so many pictures to go through, but I will narrow it down to only the semi-interesting ones and host a slideshow/story telling night as promised. If you guys are interested. And don't worry, I know some of you have the attention span of a 2 year old and I will give you a shortened summary as applicable. :]

There are so few volunteers around now. Only about...10? Catherine got a new roommate today, who is apparently going to Green Turtle with us, so hopefully she'll be a fun last person to meet. I really cannot tell you how nice it is going to be relaxing on the beach this weekend and not having to worry about anything but a mounting tab. I'm not particularly anxious for all the goodbyes, though. Mum and dad, that's mostly what I meant when I said I didn't want to deal with it all. I don't like the fuss and stress and sadness and awkwardness of goodbyes, especially when you're never going to see people again. I'll be happy once I'm sitting on the plane from JFK to SFO, with nothing more to worry about.

So, I guess this will be my last post in Ghana, unless I get bored in Accra and find an internet cafe. Again, bittersweet. I thought of the one liner I'm going to tell people when I get back: I didn't expect anything, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. Only you priviledged few will have any idea what that means, so if you hear me saying it feel free to laugh to yourself. I'm curious to see who I am upon my return. I'm fairly sure some things have changed, but the backdrop of Ghana is not quite a fair one. I've been forced to do some things I never thought I would, and I've thought about things I never thought I'd have to. I'm not sure it was the experience I wanted before I left, but I think it will be the experience I want after I return. I know for sure I've stretched myself in ways I've never thought possible. The one thing I hope is that I haven't been hardened and jaded by such an unguarded view of this place. But I don't think I have. If anything, I know more now what we need at home. I have learned things from the Ghanaians - not only things I know I want to never, ever see again, but things that can be remembered and brought back with me. Things like courage, and things like hope.

Is this the cheesy summation that was required? I do hope so.

I can't tell you how much I have missed all of you, how excited I am to be back and to hug and to be hugged, and how thankful I am that you all continued to read this and comment on it and pretend, for the sake of my sanity, that you still miss me. Thanks again and I'll see you soon!

Love,
Julia.